To: Messrs. Mothercare & Sons.

Leeds: Saturday 25 October

Sir,

It falls to me, as my servants have once again failed to discharge their duties, to write to you regarding the attire you recently provided, which I am sorry to say was entirely inadequate and inappropriate for a Gentleman of my station.

As all know, a Gentleman requires the following items, as a minimum, for his wardrobe:

Pantaloons, shirts of white linen, several waistcoats, boots suitable for riding, a plain, cut-away coat, knee breeches, white stockings, black shoes (I am partial to golden buckles rather than silver), an evening coat, a great coat, a chapeau-bras, a high-crowned hat and a good supply of cravats.

'Onesies', 'babygros' and a green bobble hat are not suitable substitutes.

I trust that you will see to my requirements properly this time, lest I be forced to change tailors.

Yrs,

Fitzwilliam Darcy