Oh, Mr. Darcy. I swoon. And your icon is perfect.

LOL!!! Oh, goodness. Too funny. And the picture! LOL!!!

Mr Darcy, as I was saying to your good aunt, Lady Catherine de Burgh, whose patronage I am most honoured to benefit from, the attitude of one's servants to the servicing of one's desires is lamentably no longer what it once was.

Your most esteemed aunt did very kindly suggest to me that the only way in which you can correct lacksadaisical servants is to horsewhip them soundly until their behaviour improves.

I would of course hesitate to presume to give you advice on this matter, but the guidance of your good aunt has been invaluable to my wife, Charlotte, in the managing of domestic affairs and we do have a sturdy horse whip that we could lend to you should it be required.

I am and remain your most obedient servant, sir.

Mr Collins.

The state of the servant market is indeed shocking. I am myself finding footmen have an lamentable habit of mooning about the folly with an odd collection of sluts from the village, and my chamber maid has grown pert.

Two servants? La! One would think you had gone rustick!

I can't top tybalt_quin! Mr. Darcy--I think you must lodge your complaints with him. :)

Mr. Darcy, I do hope you do not find it too audacious of me to take the liberty of adding you to my friends list. Please do forgive me but my long acquaintance with your family has made me so bold.

I do hope you take Mr Collin's kind advice about your servant problem, though sometimes something a little more subtle is useful, like filling your diapers immediately upon them changing them so they are obliged to change them again immediately. This does tend to get their attention.

I do look forward to hearing of your further adventures. I do hope they will be more to your liking.

Your obedient servant, etc.